Now that Sunday is over, you woke up today feeling profound spiritual need to sign up for the latest retreat or buy a new spiritual book.
You might be "spiritually thrashing."
You are not losing God; you are losing your attachment to the "feeling" of God. This is a standard side effect of the "Night of Sense." God wants to withdraw spiritual sweets so you learn to walk on your two feet.
Your feeling is your soul having a mild "relapse" into the old habits of bargaining. You feel like God has "broken the contract" because He isn't paying you in good feelings today. You are tempted to "add more" to bridge the gap. But "spiritual thrashing" of adding more rosaries and retreats out of fear is ultimately just spiritual adrenaline. It masks the symptoms but delays the cure of the Divine Physician.
We look at the Logos, which is the underlying grace of your baptism. You are permanently marked. The light has not moved. Your pupils are simply dilated by the world again.
When St. John of the Cross spoke of the "Dark Night," he is describing a transition from what you do to what God does within you. This process is gradual, proceeding orderly and gently. Trying to "force" a feeling today is like trying to force a bone to knit faster by shaking the cast.
